Some of the hardest days........

Recently I've had some of the bluest, toughest moments ever.Everything has just hit me like a ton of bricks.This last seizure Daniel had coughing up blood, choking,turning blue and unresponsive was just awful.His seizures have always been horrible,but lately they seem to continue to get worse.

Ariel's had so many issues between seizures,kidney,stomach,wrists you name it.Not sure if this is all part of this syndrome or not,but I suspect it is.


We've had a lot of losses recently due to SUDEP(Sudden,Unexplained,Death in Epilepsy Patients) I wrote more in detail about it here:
http://marrerofamilymakingthemostoflife.blogspot.com/2011/10/sudep-sudden-unexplained-epilepsy.html

I think this is something that all parents of kids with Epilepsy,especially when it is Intractable fear.
Something I try not to think about a lot,but it is always on the back of your mind.

Last week I sat in a little coffee shop reading my Bible and meditating on it.I especially like to read the Psalms during blue periods.I had been thinking about things and thinking why? It's feels so unfair sometimes.My kids should be doing what all the other kids their ages are doing.This syndrome has not only wiped their bodies of so many things and has caused so many physical problems,but has completely wiped their brains of so many things,like memory,thinking skills,understanding and has also caused horrible sensory issues ,especially with Ariel.Crowds absolutely make her shudder,whether it be at church a restaurant or wherever.

I was reading in Ecclesiastes about life and the meaning of life and realized that some of the things that I've been so desperately clinging to the Bible calls vanity.Not that God doesn't want you to have an abundant,rich and joyful life,but if that means serving God making the most of each day God has given us, then so be it.Even if that means just doing the mundane,day to day things.

 None of us are guaranteed tomorrow.Our life is but a vapor.

²⁵Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?
²⁶Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?
²⁷Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?
²⁸And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:
²⁹And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
³⁰Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?
³¹Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
³²(For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
³³But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and
all these things shall be added unto you.

Also:
Philippians 4:19
But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.



What I take from this is that God knows our needs and he shall supply them,no matter what it is.I think it's sometimes the timing part that trips us up.

That's why I'm learning to praise God through life storms,but it sure isn't easy.
http://marrerofamilymakingthemostoflife.blogspot.com/2012/03/praising-god-through-storms-of-life_7991.html

Trusting in The Lord and fiery darts from the devil.

Hello friends,Well yesterday was not a good day.It was one of those days,where everything that could go wrong did.I'm sure you've all had those kind of days.

We have been under a lot of stress and strain lately.Financial,medical,family issues you name it.I'm sure most of you can relate to the financial issues.There aren't too many people that haven't been affected by the economy,but when you add medical bills,co-pays,prescriptions,the price of gas going to and from appointments, it can certainly empty your wallet quickly and bring a lot of financial strain and pressure.

 Not to mention the stress of seeing your child(ren) fight medical affliction all the time.One of the things that I noticed Satan loves to do when you're all flustered and stressed is to add his fiery darts, to hopefully push you over the edge and to take your focus off of God and trusting in him.

I had so many stresses yesterday and  then to top it off I get  a very accusatory phone call from a family member.It was like one of those fiery darts going right through my heart ,to think this person would think so little of me as to accuse me of something so ridiculous, it really broke my heart,especially since they know me better than that.  

   John 10:10
The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.

Satan's sole purpose in life is to Steal,Kill and Destroy.                                                  

So if he can Steal your joy,your faith in God your happiness,then he's done his job.

If he can Kill your physical body,your will to live,your reason for life,then he's done his job.

If he can Destroy your family,your home,your trust,your faith,then he's done his job.

The key to remember is
Ephesians 6:12
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

 The person that called me yesterday was being used as a tool of Satan to get my focus off of God.Satan is very crafty that way.He will use those that matter to you most to hurt you, and to take your focus away from where it should be.

 I'll admit when it happened I didn't do what I should have done ,which was to drop everything and pray for that person and the situation,instead I got angry,hurt and bitter.

 It was bad for me and a bad example for my children.It's like Paul says in

 Romans 7:14
¹⁴For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin.
¹⁵For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I.
¹⁶If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that it is good.
¹⁷Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.
¹⁸For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not.
¹⁹For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.
²⁰Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.
²¹I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me.
²²For I delight in the law of God after the inward man:
²³But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.
²⁴O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?
²⁵I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.  

                                       

It seems like I'm constantly wrestling with myself,or my flesh.
The things I want to do and know I should do, I don't do, and the things that I want to restrain from,those are the things I always find myself doing.It's like a giant tug o' war.

The thing to remember is Jesus says in John 10:10: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.

Jesus wants to give you abundant life,which is also a joyful life.

Finally remember and this is a huge reminder to myself as well.                                      

Jesus says in Matthew 6:25:

Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?

²⁶Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?
²⁷Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?

²⁸And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:
²⁹And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.

³⁰Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?
³¹Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
³²(For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
³³But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
³⁴Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

I pray that God will help me to remember these things.Today,tomorrow and forever.

Satan's greatest tool the destruction of families.

Please permit me to stand on my soap box for a bit about something that has been on my heart and mind.Something I am extremely grieved about.
And it has brought great sadness to my heart.


I believe this is one of enemies greatest tools, this and division in the church.I will just be talking about the family in this discussion.Maybe there will be a discussion about division in the church later.

Mark 3:25 And if a house be divided against itself,that kingdom cannot stand.

In the 50's and early 60's you had images of the family like this.     

The pictures these shows created were of a solid family with a strong, caring father.Usually a godly man,full of wisdom.You often saw the families at church,spending a lot of time together going to Sunday school or praying over dinner.

How many times did we see Beaver get into scrape after scrape (sin) usually because he listened to his friend Larry and did something stupid.                                                 

Proverbs 13:20 He that walketh with wise men shall be wise:but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.

Beaver always got caught in whatever wrong he had done,but his father Ward was always compassionate and loving in his discipline,he was firm and non-waivering,but was always fair and just.

Beaver always learned a lesson and always came out a bit wiser in the end.            

Now let's contrast that with the picture of father we started seeing emerging in the 80's and today.

                               
Father is made out to be a bumbling fool,who does little more than sit on a couch or recliner in front of the television in his underwear guzzling beer.

Mother is pictured as either a  loud mouthed,narcissist or extremely intelligent in contrast to fathers stupidity and the ultimate career woman with little time for her family,in fact they often are a burden to her.

Proverbs 14:1 Every wise woman buildeth her house up,but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.

Now let's move on to the children.We used to have pictures of kids like Beav and Wally,Betty,Bud and Cathy and even The Brady Kids.  

The kids would usually get themselves into some kind of scrape(sin) they would always get caught and there would be some sort of consequence for their action,

like Marcia getting a super huge ego ,because she's playing Juliet in the school play.Her mom and the drama teacher decide for her 0wn good they would boot her from the play.

  A tearful Marcia finally realizes the foolishness of her ways and appologizes and begs to be let back in the play,only in a much less glamorous part.

        
Contrast that with what you see today.Mouthy,sassy children that treat their parents and anyone in authority over them like they are morons and the shows  have pretty much made any adult appear that way.     
      
Don't even get me going on the trashy train wreck Jerry Springer type shows and their propheting off of families in conflict and pain.

I understand that these were not real families that were represented,but they did reflect the times.Children were to respect those in authority over them.Your family and teachers were there to guide and help you to become a productive citizen in society.                     

     Schools no longer teach 

Ephesians 6:1 Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.Honor thy father and mother,which is the first commandment with promise,that it may be well with thee and though mayest live long in the earth.

Unfortunately a lot of schools are now bringing division in the home.Often telling kids that their parents have no rights,except to give them financial support.

The medical community is no better.Many times I've had them try to take my kids in a room off by themselves.I had one doctor tell my daughter that "she was a teen and got to make all choices for herself." Mind you my daughter is mentally impaired.This doctor had no right to do this,but they feel it is their right.

Have you ever heard of the U.N. rights of the child,look it up it's quite frightening.

Our society is waging a war against families.If you destroy the family you will destroy the nation.
I don't think there is one family that hasn't been affected in some way.

1 Peter 5:8,Be sober be vigilant,because your advesary the devil, as a roaring lion,walketh about,seeking who he may devour.


So how do we fight this war? The first is to recognize who we are fighting.

                                     
Ephesians 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood,but against pricipalities,against powers,against rulers of darkness of this world.

                                 
The next thing is to pray for Jesus' protection for our families.


Then we need to put on the whole armor of God.

Ephesians 6:13:Wherefore take unto you the whole armor of God,that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day,and having done all,to stand.

Stand therefore,having your loins girt about with truth,and having the breastplate of righteousness;And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;

Above all,taking the shield of faith,wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.

And take the helmet of salvation,and the sword of the Spirit,which is the word of God:
Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the spirit,and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;

Remember we are not just in a physical battle,but a spiritual one as well.

Also remember that just because everyone says something is okay doesn't make it right.
Remember Noah

Genesis 6:5 God saw the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart were evil continually.6:6And it repented the Lord that he had made man on the earth,and it grieved him at his heart.

6:8 But Noah found grace in the eyes of the Lord.These are the generations of Noah:Noah was a just man and perfect in his generations,and Noah walked with God.

Noah and his family were the only ones saved on that day,can you imagine being the only ones in the whole world doing what is right? Talk about peer pressure.

Matthew 10:34 Jesus says
³⁴Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
³⁵For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
³⁶And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
³⁷He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
³⁸And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.
³⁹He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.


This verse has shown me that sometimes there will not be peace,no matter what we do how can light walk with darkness?

Finally
Paul says in Romans 12:1
¹I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.
²And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
³For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.
⁴For as we have many members in one body, and all members have not the same office:
⁵So we, being many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another.
⁶Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, whether prophecy, let us prophesy according to the proportion of faith;
⁷Or ministry, let us wait on our ministering: or he that teacheth, on teaching;
⁸Or he that exhorteth, on exhortation: he that giveth, let him do it with simplicity; he that ruleth, with diligence; he that sheweth mercy, with cheerfulness.
⁹Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good.
¹⁰Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;
¹¹Not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord;
¹²Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;
¹³Distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality.
¹⁴Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not.
¹⁵Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.
¹⁶Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits.
¹⁷Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.
¹⁸If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.
¹⁹Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
²⁰Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.
²¹Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.




The fact of the matter is it's the heart that needs to be changed.When the heart is changed lives will be changed.I am so thankful for God's Word and the peace I get from reading it in times of trial.

I will step off my soap box now.