Thursday, February 23, 2012

Do you ever feel like you're traveling this bumpy road alone?

Have you ever felt like this? Have you ever felt like no one understands? There are times that I feel like I'm in the middle of a desert with no one around for miles and no cool water to quench my thirst.

I think at times most parents of special needs kids feel alone or isolated.Especially when your kids don't have the typical ailment where there are lots of support groups.Sometimes I see mom's talking,getting together,doing things together and often feel left out.

I wonder is it because I'm that mother? You know the one that is pittied from afar,but yet people don't want to get too close.Some people sadly believe they may catch what my children have,others feel like we are just a burden or something they can't or don't want to handle or deal with,while still others feel that there must be some horrible sin in our lives that God is punishing us for and we deserve to be alone.

Don't get me wrong I'm so thankful for every kind gesture and kind word.Sometimes you just feel like you will never be part of the group.I really don't think we will ever be.

I used to be.I used to be part of the group at church and homeschool functions.My kids used to have lots of friends that were often around and grace many pictures when the kids were younger,but unfortunately one too many times a child witnessed my son have a seizure and no longer wanted to be around.Sometimes they even thought they would catch his illness.I can understand that his seizures are frightening and scary to be around,but you would think the adults would explain things.Often they just didn't want to bother and just moved on.
This has led me and the kids to feel very alone and alienated at times.

But we are a family and we have The Lord.We have each other to lean on and I'm thankful for that.We cherish and celebrate every milestone and every good day.There are time that I do feel low,but those times I often think of the footprints poem :

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,
“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?”

The Lord replied,
“The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand,
is when I carried you.”

I know the Lord has and will continue to carry me.I'm so thankful for that.


  1. Linn,
    I know exactly what you mean. But it's not about my kids it is about me. I used to have alot of friends. I has a stroke and then everyone seem not to totally understand. They're all seems to busy for me. Or as you say afaird if they where around me that they would get an illness.

  2. I'm so sorry to hear that.I really think that maybe people don't intentionally try to brush you off,but they get busy with their lives.I'm glad there are networks and groups for support ,but sometimes you need it personally and not just through the computer.Lots of love to you and prayers for peace,comfort and friendship.Linn